Wasted Worries


Saturday December 21st, 2013 – LaGrange, IL/Milwaukee, WI

One of the very best pieces of advice I ever got was from a guy I worked with in radio in Reno in the ‘90s. His radio name was Bob Garrison, but his real name is Marty Beimer. It’s funny how many radio people I know by both their radio and real names, and how totally different they are.

I remember discovering that at my first radio job in Lansing, MI in 1990. We had our checks in envelopes to be picked up at the receptionist desk, and as I was rifling through the pile looking to find mine I saw a bunch of names I didn’t recognize. They were all the real names of everybody.

People ask me all the time if Dobie Maxwell is my REAL name. Well, that’s a tricky question. Is that the name I was born with? No. I don’t hide the fact that I changed it legally in 1991. So, is Dobie Maxwell my “real” name? Absolutely. Actually, it’s Dobie J. Maxwell. I thought it would sound classier, so I added the J. Whenever someone asks what it stands for, I tell them “genius”.

Only about one in fifty get it, but those that do laugh out loud. The other forty-nine idiots think I actually don’t know how to spell the word genius and that ruins the joke. It’s too late to change it again, so at this point I’ll just live with it. The only exception would be to “King Of Uranus”.

How funny would that be to have that on a driver’s license or credit card? I wouldn’t do it until I achieved at least a modicum of fame as that character, or I’d be just another kook bag. I think it would be hilarious to sign a tax return or car title with that name, but that’s a ways off just yet.

I digress from the point I was trying to make about Bob/Marty. I was going through the hardest stretch of my life, and I was right in the middle of the whole bank robbery fiasco. It looked bleak to say the least, and there were no guarantees that I wouldn’t be doing significant prison time even though I wasn’t the one that robbed the bank. My lawyer told me that really didn’t matter much.

There were all kinds of horrific scenarios playing out in my head, and life was really a bummer on every level. People were giving me all kinds of cockamamie “advice”, but Marty laid it on the line better than anyone I’ve ever heard. He said “I know you’re scared to death, but 95% or more of all the things you’re worrying about will never become reality. Remember that.”

It was exactly what I needed to hear and it really got me through the jungle at that time. He was totally correct, and almost none of the terrible things I had feared ended up happening except that I had to testify against my lifelong best friend in court. That was a bad experience for sure, but it wasn’t nearly as life ending as it looked at first. Worry can add a high level of stress to one’s life.

I have to admit I was more than a little concerned about the possibility of rough weather I’d be facing today as I drove to my gigs, but it ended up coming off 100% hassle free. I made it to the afternoon party in LaGrange, IL and the people were really happy with the show. It was a big hit, and I was able to easily drive up to Milwaukee with plenty of time to spare for the shows there.

The audiences tonight at Northern Lights Theater were terrific, and were really into both of the “Schlitz Happened!” shows. I’m ready to take this to the next level, and excited about what 2014 will bring. Unfortunately it’s not what one prepares for that’s trouble, it’s the surprise problems.

Mad magazine's Alfred E. Neuman says it best.

Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman says it best.

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