Hillbillies, Hobos and Halfwits


Monday May 27th, 2013 – Fox Lake, IL

   It’s Memorial Day, and I’m in a reflective mood. The weather today in the Chicago area really rots, and it’s ruining people’s mood. I can feel it. Barbecues are being cancelled, and I sensed an ominous vibe from quite a few people as I ran a few errands today. I tried to make sense of it all.

   I’ve been in a funk myself of late, and that’s never good. I feel myself sliding down the rails of the abyss, and I know it’s going to be hell to crawl back out. No matter what anyone says, it’s the lack of money that’s causing 99% of it, and there are all kinds of tangled wires that are the cause.

   It stinks and I wish it weren’t that way, but then I think of the people in Oklahoma who’ve just had their whole lives swept away in seconds and it makes me shut my yap. That’s a horrible spot to be in, and what’s left of my heart goes out to every one of them – toothless hillbillies or not.

   This world is full of the toothless, clueless, hopeless and shameless. There are hillbillies, hobos and halfwits, and we’re all thrown together to fight our way through the jungle. We either squeak out a way to survive the madness, or we’re wiped out like bugs on a windshield. It’s a cruel gig.

   The whole war thing has never made sense to me either. I have the utmost respect for all of the brave souls who had the courage to give their lives, but the concept of war itself makes me puke. We’ve been doing it as long as we’ve been a species, but I still can’t see anything good about it.

   Why do we have to kill each other for any reason? I know I sound like a bleeding heart hippie, but I really mean it. I’ve always said I have a ton of people I can’t stand, but I don’t want to kill any of them. I might not want to be within 500 miles of them, but they can go live away from me and screw up their own lives. I would like to think the karma train will run them over eventually.

   Look at all the sadness Memorial Day brings to millions of Americans who lost someone in the service of the country. There are parentless kids because of it, and lonely spouses and all kinds of ugliness that I just don’t see a legitimate reason for. I know war is about money in the end, but if that’s the only way to get it then I’ll stay broke. Someone at the top is missing what life is about.

   Sometimes I feel like I’m the one missing what life is about. In my warped little pea brain, I’ve always thought life was supposed to be happy and fulfilling. We should cheer people up at every possible opportunity, and that’s what I’ve always tried to do. Sometimes it has worked out great, but others it feels like I totally missed the happy boat. Of late it’s been the missed the boat way.

   One thing that really cheered me up today was a note from a wonderful comedian named Beth Donahue – Weedman. What a fireball she is, and I’ve always been a huge fan. She tells it like it is, but unfortunately not everyone can handle that kind of honesty. I know. I’m like that as well.

   Beth and I have both been around about the same time, and we’ve both done comedy and radio along the way. We both have our fans, and both have our detractors. Unfortunately, neither of us has figured out that pesky success formula or chased it very hard. We chose to do things our way and that’s not always the way to win the approval of those difficult to figure out ‘powers that be’.

   I have all the respect in the world for Beth, and the others like her that never seem to reap what they so richly deserve. I feel the same way about the troops who gave it all up so rich politicians can get richer on the blood of the grunts that did the dirty work. This planet is a cosmic carnival.

Beth Donahue-Weedman is one of the funniest comedians in America

Beth Donahue-Weedman is one of the funniest comedians in America!

Go see her at Nashville Zanies on June 2nd, 2013! www.zanies.com

Go see her at Nashville Zanies on June 2nd, 2013! http://www.zanies.com

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3 Responses to “Hillbillies, Hobos and Halfwits”

  1. Scott Cashman Says:

    Dobie,
    You must remember where we live. In the USA we love to say that we live in a democracy, etc. Where we live is in a capitalist system which is predicated on the fact that in order for some people to “win,” many others need to “lose.” The capitalist nightclub business, in which most comedians are locked, is no different that general society except that the pie that you are all splitting up is so damn small. We all know nighclubs go out of business all the time. Some are run by scum who run it into the ground. Some are run by hard working, honest people who just can’t make a go of it. I’ve studied this in the context of jazz musicians and I’ll tell you that there is little opportunity for any of the players to achive the middle class standard. The myth, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, is just that. It’s about who your family is an knows that makes opportunity. Sure there is the less than 1% who come up with some way to transcend their economic class but for the most part we struggle to just stay in the class that our parents were in. It’s not this way everywhere. I keep harping on the fact that France treats its artists like the professionals they are. Yes, they get health care, social security and paid vacation from the government (and the clubs have to pay into the system to fund it). Sure there is a slice of socialism there but I doubt that any of the artists are paranoid about it, or the parents who get a child subsidy and govt funded child care. Yes taxes are higher but guess what, that is a society where they haven’t lost the fact that “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” don’t always involve jobs, money and competition for scarce resources.
    – Scott

  2. bdonahueweedman Says:

    A lovely message from a truly lovely man. One small correction; I *did* end up getting the pot of gold, it just wasn’t in the form I always thought I wanted it in. Of. Had you asked me 20 years ago if I wanted true love or Fame I fear I’d have made a horrible mistake. Just throwing that out there…..you may get your miracle in the last place you ever thought you would. I tell my single friends all the time “there ARE great guys out there!” And YOU my friend, are one of them. I love you Dobes!

  3. dobiemaxwell Says:

    Point well taken. I was talking about the cesspool of showbiz. 🙂

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