Vanquishing The Viqueens

Sunday November 21st, 2010 – Tampa, FL

One pleasant surprise of the cruise life is that I’ve been able to watch way more Green Bay Packer games than I ever thought possible. I thought for sure I’d have to forego that, at least for this season, but I’ve managed to catch most of the games by luck of the draw.

The television system on the ships is kind of goofy, and the only American channels we get are out of Denver for some reason. I heard from people who’ve worked the ships for a while that it used to be New York channels and Miami before that. That I can understand, but Denver? It seems odd to see weather predictions for snowfall when in the Caribbean.

The good part is that the Broncos are an AFC team and for whatever reason Fox shows Packer games as part of the NFC package. I’m sure Coloradans don’t care either way, but I do. I was delighted to turn on Fox 31 this afternoon and catch the beloved Pack stomp a capital G in the poopshoots of those putrid purple Viqueens. What a delightful diversion.

It’s remarkable to see how Minnesota has imploded as a team. They had no fire in their bellies at all, and didn’t even put up a fight. They were picked to do well this year and the atmosphere in that locker room must be really unpleasant. Couldn’t happen to nicer folks.

Maybe Brett Favre will finally just go away now. It’s over. He can take his razor stubble and his pampered crybaby attitude and his Wrangler jeans and especially those pictures of his misshapen weenie we all had to look at and go back to Mississippi and mow his lawn.

He got his hundred million dollars, what more does he need or want? Most of the rest of us are struggling to pay bills every month, and he has to piss and moan that the Green Bay Packers wouldn’t play his little spoiled brat games. They called his bluff, good for them.

As far as I’m concerned, as a Packer fan he’s dead to me. I don’t even plan on watching when they retire his number, and they will. The Packers are a class organization and I can see them giving Favre the red carpet treatment, even though I think he’s a complete wank.

I guess this is why sports is so fun to watch. It’s a soap opera, and it always changes. I’ll admit, I’m hooked, and so are millions of others. It’s fun for me to watch workers here on the ship get worked up over soccer games I couldn‘t care less about. It’s intense. They all congregate by the TV and scream at it while the game is going on. Sports is an addiction.

There are millions of addicts all over the world, and I’m one of them. I love the Packers and can’t help it. Brett Favre doesn’t know who I am, and couldn’t care less. The Packers don’t know who I am either. I’m some random nut rambling on about something that has no bearing at all on life or death. It’s totally a luxury nobody needs, but I’m still hooked.

I have a plate piled high with my own problems, hopes and dreams. Have the Packers or anyone else helped me through any of it? No, not at all. Still, for one afternoon it was my distinct pleasure to watch my favorite team demolish their archrivals. Back to real life.

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