Lending An Ear

Monday November 26^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I got a call from my cousin Brett today, and he’s at his lowest point. I was sorry to hear of what he was going through, but of anyone on the planet he could have called who could relate to every word of what he was saying it was me. I listened intently as he unloaded what was troubling him.

The details aren’t important, other than it’s the same old life misery most of us go through on a daily basis. Job issues, relationship issues, dealing with idiots on a constant basis and the like are obstacles we must fight to overcome. For dented cans it’s worse, and Brett is definitely one of us.

That doesn’t mean I don’t think the world of him, as I absolutely do. He’s seven years younger than me, and sharp as a brand new razor. We have a whole lot in common – much more than my actual blood brother. I consider Brett to be my little brother, even though he stands about 6’4”.

He is left handed like me, and also a borderline Pisces as his birthday is February 21^st. I’m still not sure if there’s anything to astrology, but my guess is there’s something there. It’s energy, and everything alive is energy. That would lead me to believe astrology measures a form of energy.

Whatever the case, we’re both on the same wavelength about a lot of things from family to the things we find funny. Brett is hilarious, and has a wonderfully dark twisted sense of humor I can always count on to make me laugh deep and hard no matter how down I’m feeling. That’s a gift.

Another thing Brett has is one of the most giving hearts of anyone I’ve ever met. I try to be one to always share anything I have with anyone who needs it, but he makes me look like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Even as a very small child, that heart was there and his sister used to use it against him and make his life hell. I felt badly for him, but he couldn’t help it. That’s who he is.

Brett told me what he was going through, and I found it remarkable that he said it drained all of of his hope and he felt a distinct snap inside. That’s the exact feeling I had in Springfield as I was told how much my car would cost to get fixed. We hit bottom at the same time, and I wonder if it was more than a coincidence? It seems odd it would occur like that on the very same weekend.

We’ve helped each other out many times, and this will be no different. I didn’t elaborate on my latest speed bump, as I wanted to let him vent about what was bothering him. He’s a great helper to many, and he deserves the floor when he needs to vent. He’s a younger brother as am I, and to have someone listen is a luxury. Too often everyone looks at us as perpetual pickers of dog poop.

My heart really goes out to Brett, and I wish I could do more to help him deal with this. He’s a Union Carpenter by trade, and a very good one. He’s invested his life learning and respecting his craft as I have done with comedy, but all of these years into it he doesn’t have security as I don’t.

Why quality people keep getting thrown into the meat grinder and imbeciles skate through life seemingly unscathed continues to mystify me to no end. There must be a reason for it, as it does happen frequently enough to be noticeable. So much more good could be done if life were fair.

Advertisement

Looking Down The Road

Thursday March 11th, 2010 – Lake Villa, IL

People have been teasing me all day about having gout, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s a pleasant alternative to having to get knee surgery I couldn’t pay for right now so a couple of jokes at my expense are no big deal. Bring it on. I’ll start worrying when I get leprosy.

The fact remains, I’m getting older and I feel it. Mentally, I’ve always been significantly older than my actual age. Even as a kid, most of my friends were older than me and that’s still the case. People I hang around the most like Jim McHugh, Marc Schultz, Bill Gorgo, Bert Haas, Jerry Agar and all the Kidders are all at least a couple of years older than me.

Allegedly, Pisces is the astrological sign that signifies the old souls. I’ve been told many times I’m one, but who knows if any of that’s true? I am who I am, but even as a kid I felt out of place in this life. I still do, no matter how hard I’ve tried to find a place for myself.

I’m starting to head into the final stages, and there’s no guarantee how long that will be. It could be thirty years, thirty days or thirty minutes so I thought about what I should start to do with the rest of my life to achieve the smartest and most productive results possible.

What really hit home today was that I need to start cranking out products and keep it up until I’m out of ideas or out of breath, whichever comes first. I’ve got a full 25 years in as a touring comedian along with an off and on 20 in the radio business. I also have 15 years in as a comedy teacher, so that’s a lot of different life experience on which to draw from.

I paid my dues and learned my crafts, but now it’s time to take that and put it into things I can pass on to others. I want to do things that benefit people long after I’m gone, even if I can’t be there to see it. I don’t know why it’s important to me, but for some reason it is.

No matter how hard I try to figure out the meaning of life, the less of a solid answer I’m getting. At least I’m getting some kind of an idea of where I want to go, but I look around at life in general and I see the majority of people stumbling through it with no inner drive or direction other than to get drunk, laid and party. There doesn’t seem to be much else.

This world is full of idiots, and I don’t know a nicer way of saying it. If there is a God, I wonder if that was intentional? There are a comparative few who try to make the most of whatever talents they’ve been given, but the majority of humans aren’t worth the trouble.

Alexander Hamilton said “The masses are asses” and that was in 1790. I haven’t seen a whole lot of improvement since then. Yes, there are a lot of wonderful people around but they’re way outnumbered by the herd of halfwits that keep NASCAR and rap in business.

I don’t want to be so cynical, but the picture gets clearer every day. My grandfather was a sharp cookie and much the same way and it feels like I’m becoming him a little bit more every day. He was hilarious, kind and smart, but also had a dark side. He died unfulfilled, and I don’t want that to be me. I want to squeeze out every last bit of potential I have left.