I’m A Dinosaur

Thursday December 19th, 2013 – Island Lake, IL

This is supposed to be the best time in history to be alive, but I’m not so sure if I’m convinced. Technology offers a lot of wonderful conveniences we only dreamed about not that long ago, but the human side of life seems to be shriveling up before our eyes. Life is changing too fast for me.

I’m not saying I want the world to be Amish, but a little more stability would be nice. Reading is an example. Does anyone actually sit down and read a book or newspaper anymore? It’s all on the internet or kindle, and everything is fragmented. I know I sound like my grandpa, but I’m not in sync with how the world is going and it’s frightening. What will it be like ten years from now?

Quite honestly, there’s plenty of technology to last me the rest of my life. I don’t need to own a video game that decapitates space aliens and squirts real blood through my TV. The video games are becoming more and more realistic and life is becoming more like a video game. It’s insane.

I was left at the starting line growing up in the ‘70s. Video games were starting to take root but I never developed more than a casual interest. I had friends who had Atari games, and I’d maybe play once in a while but it was never an obsession. For whatever reason, I never became lost in it like so many millions are today. It’s a way of life for society, and I’m on the outside looking in.

Maybe I’m an old soul who lived many times before, but I’m satisfied with simple things. I am fully content sitting down and reading a book for an hour or two, and if anything I can’t find the time to do it as much as I’d like. If I had my way, I’d be able to have time every day for reading.

I do spend a lot more time than I would prefer reading and answering emails, but that’s not the same. I’m talking about plowing through a book from cover to cover and opening myself up to a line of thinking or bank of knowledge I hadn’t come across before to make me a smarter person.

It takes effort and discipline to maintain a reading schedule, just as it does to maintain any kind of daily regimen. I’ve managed to keep up with this diary for almost eight full years, even if I’ve missed a couple of days here and there. I always catch up and have an entry for every single day.

Have I physically exercised every day for the last eight years? Hardly. I’ve fallen behind and it needs to change yesterday. I’m out of habit, and it will be hard to get myself back in a groove but it’s a necessary inconvenience. If I let my health go, nothing else matters. I’ll be in a pine box.

It’s much easier said than done though. There’s just too much going on to easily make time for all the truly important things in life. Especially with my lifestyle as an entertainer, I’m constantly on the road trying to get somewhere to do a show, then get to the next place to do another one.

It’s impossible to get on a regular sleep schedule, and making time to exercise on a daily basis is harder than that. Eating right? Who can do that? My idea of a balanced meal is a cheeseburger in each hand, and I know that’s wrong. I was really doing well for a while, but I’m sliding back.

I think there’s something to be said about a simpler lifestyle. I don’t know where that fine line of moderation is, but we as a society seem to have crossed it. I’m enjoying my life as a dinosaur.

Technology passed me by years ago. I’m a Dobiesaurus.

Advertisement

$2,739.73

Wednesday June 5^th, 2013 – Fox Lake, IL

   I have a calculator I bought years ago at a rummage sale for a quarter, and I happened to find it in an old box today. I don’t think I’ve ever used it even one time since I bought it, so I decided to play around and crunch a few numbers to get my quarter’s worth. I let my imagination run wild.

   Does anyone even use calculators anymore? Other than trying to figure out how much it would cost to fill my gas tank, I can’t think of a time I’d use one. If I really needed it, I think there’s one on my phone, right? I think so anyway. I’m still trying to figure out how to make it ring properly. It tweets and beeps and farts and does everything more than what I bought it for – to make calls.

   The world is passing me by on a daily basis, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I’m trying to keep up, but it’s not even close. I am getting smoked like smuggled marijuana in prison. Hey, there’s a funny thought – a joint in the joint! Ok, back to reality. I’m a big human dinosaur. 

   Technology is in charge, and that’s how it is. It’s frustrating, but it’s too late to turn back now. It’s all here to stay, like it or not. Some of it I really like, but there’s too much to keep up with on a daily basis, and I feel so lost I don’t know who to complain to. Our humanity is being neutered.

   I think the era when it was the ideal mix between Flintstones and Jetsons has passed. There are a lot of great things about technology and the modern era, but there are drawbacks too. The same is true for the ‘good old days’ as well. I don’t think prairie life was the ultimate thrill ride either.

   Hunting for my dinner and sleeping in a cabin with my unshaven wife and eight melon headed offspring I need as farm hands doesn’t tickle my doo dad at all. Yes, there were no preservatives or genetic altering added to my food and it probably tasted better than McNuggets, but that’s it.

   Back then, I’d be dead by the age I am now. Even in this era, I’m shocked I have lived as long as I have. Every day I’m alive is bonus time, and I’m trying to make the best of it but it’s getting tougher by the hour. I try to be blind to the insanity that’s going on everywhere, but I just can’t.

   I still say money would solve 95% or higher of my current problems. A windfall would put me in a much calmer mindset, and I wouldn’t have the constant stress of having to make decisions to pay my bills in the short run rather than be an asset to humanity in the long run. It’s exasperating. I’d only need a reasonable chunk, but today I pulled out the stops and went for a million bucks.

   I started farting around on the old calculator, and punched in 1,000,000 divided by 365 days of the year. It comes out to $2,739.726 so we’ll round it up to $2,739.73. That’s how much anybody would need to make every single day for a year to have a cool million. Leap year it’s $2,732.24.

   That number alone blows my mind, but that’s gnat poo. There are professional athletes that are not even in the starting lineups of their teams that make multiple millions a year, and they have a contract that’s guaranteed for more than one year. I couldn’t begin to imagine what that would be like. Well I guess I could imagine it, but I’d like to LIVE it. I truly believe I could handle it well.

   What is money anyway other than a manufactured shallow symbol of the exchange of energies from one party to another? Unfortunately, in this existence it’s absolutely EVERYTHING. That wasn’t my call, and I’m not saying I like it – but it’s the truth. I’m not going to lie, I’d love to get a million bucks legally and without hurting anyone. Right now I’d be delighted with $2,739.73.

“Anyone got change for a million bucks?”

They won’t take these at the thrift store. 😦