No Apocalypse For You

Friday December 21^st, 2012 – St. Charles, IL

   Well, no apocalypse today. I wonder if anyone else is disappointed. A good old fashioned end of the world as we know it life vaporizing cosmic explosion would have been the ideal way for a pathetic planet filled with ignorance, imbeciles and insanity to go out and wipe the slate clean.

Now we’re really doomed. The sky high pile of problems we already have will continue to get higher and fester, and millions worldwide will continue to suffer slowly and painfully. A gigantic blast from the cosmos would have been the most humane way to euthanize a bunch of monkeys.

I wish I had more faith in our planet and those who inhabit it, but I totally don’t. There are just too many idiots per capita for my liking, and I can’t believe I asked to be born here. According to many, we all choose our circumstances before we’re born, and then have to live out our destiny.

The first time I heard that theory, I laughed out loud. I couldn’t imagine anyone choosing a life of unpleasant struggle like so many of us get, but apparently there are reasons for it. We need the experiences we go through to learn important lessons, and apparently those lessons are crucial.

Depending on the source, many people believe there absolutely is reincarnation and all of this is part of a bigger picture. I’ve read so much and heard so many opinions that I don’t know what to believe at this point. All I can say for certain is that I don’t know – and it’s all anyone can say.

Why the world is the way it is is beyond anyone’s comprehension, but I for one am not a fan of how it’s being run on a high level. The human animal is a flawed beast in my opinion, and I have no idea how we’ve survived as long as we have as a species. We continue to mangle all we touch and quite frankly it doesn’t look good for the future. A clean ending would have been a blessing.

But alas, it didn’t happen. We’re left here to our own primal urges, and basically all we are are a bunch of monkeys throwing poo. We claim to be sophisticated, but then we let petty little tripe get in the way and continue to cause and perpetuate wars that destroy this beautiful planet we’ve been given to live on. We’re like a bunch of six year olds fighting over crayons, and I’m over it.

I don’t claim to be perfect, and never have. I don’t think I’m any better than the rest of the idiot brigade, and that’s pretty disappointing as well. I aspire to such greatness in my mind, but in real life I’m just another one of the monkeys trying to find one more banana. It’s not what I pictured.

That being said, life goes on. Good or bad, right or wrong, we’re still here. For how long could be anyone’s guess, but for the moment we’ve still got air in our lungs. What will we do with it? I for one want to make the best of whatever time I have left, and I look upon now on as bonus time for everyone on the planet. I can only control my part of it, but I intend to put forth a good effort.

Tonight I had two solid shows at Zanies Comedy Club in St. Charles, IL. Both audiences were great laughers, and I reached back and gave them every last drop of what I had to give. I enjoyed every minute of it, and if I have to remain on this planet a while longer I’ll do what gives me joy.

Advertisement

Less Is More

Thursday December 20^th, 2012 – Niles, IL

   Call me a cynic, but I’m not betting on the end of the world happening tomorrow despite all the hype about the Mayan prophecies. It would be too easy if everything just screeched suddenly to a halt, and my life has been a lot of things but never easy. I’m betting on struggles o’plenty for all.

I did hedge that bet just a smidge though, and consciously chose to not do the enormous pile of laundry that’s been stacking up like firewood for a while. If the Earth does indeed decide to blow up tomorrow, I’m saving myself that chore. Why waste time sorting socks for the Apocalypse?

Instead, I started to purge myself of the majority of my worldly possessions. I’ve attempted this several times before, and the more times I do it the easier it becomes. Things accumulate in all of our lives, and before we know it we’re choking on our own possessions. They eventually own us.

If anything, I am an anti-hoarder. I come from a family of pack rats, and after they died it was a major hassle getting rid of all their useless clutter that they thought was so ‘valuable’ for so long. I saw it happen with my grandparents, father and an uncle and aunt, and I refuse to let it be me.

Part of what makes it easier for me is that I’ve moved more than the average person. I’ve lived a nomadic gypsy lifestyle most of my adult life, and the process of moving becomes more hated and unpleasant each time I do it. Still, I’ve hauled way too many boxes places they never needed to go. I have spent much of this year going through every last scrap of paper, and I’m glad I did.

I salvaged some things I’m glad I kept, like random comedy notes from my years of traveling I didn’t even remember making. Looking at them now, they’re a time capsule that I can create new material from, and the ideas are all my own. It’s like finding a hidden bank account in my name.

Most of the rest of it is piles of books I’ll never read, music and audio programs I’ll never hear and clothing I’ll never wear. Every time I move I purge myself of things like this, but it manages to pile up again and before I know it I’m backed up again. I need to stop doing this over and over and pare down to the bare minimum. It’s much easier to exist free of clutter – at least it is for me.

Step number one today was going through all my clothes and anything I haven’t worn in a year was put in bags to be donated to The Salvation Army. I dropped some significant weight with my exercise regimen after my diabetes diagnosis, and I had a lot of clothes I won’t likely wear again.

I don’t know why I was hanging on to them, but it felt great to load them into the car and drive them to the Salvation Army store in Gurnee, IL and drop them off. My closet is looking bare, but my spirits are looking up because I know it was the right thing to do. Hopefully someone will get some use out of those clothes, but I’m just happy they’re out of my life. This was a perfect start.

Even if the world does end tomorrow, this was the right thing to do. Clearing out the old makes room for the new, if even symbolically. I’m betting we’ll all be around after tomorrow, so I’ll see how much more I can purge to keep this going into 2013 and beyond. Less is more, more or less.