Piles Of Piles


Monday July 9th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   The more I get done lately, the more that piles up. Life isn’t supposed to work like that, is it? If this is a joke from the universe, I’m not laughing. I’ve been too busy to laugh, as I’ve been trying to breathe life into project after project. I’m all out of air, and as I look around all I see are piles.

I’ve got an extra thick pile of paper mail to open, most of it bills. I’ve also got a pile of email to answer, most of it junk. I have a pile of phone messages to answer, most of those people wanting me to do them favors or give them money I don’t have. I also have a big old funky pile of clothes that need washing – one of my least favorite chores. I have piles of piles, and I’m overwhelmed.

I’m going on the road the rest of this week, and it won’t allow me to shrink those piles like I’d like to. It’s always an annoying struggle to keep the inane trivial chores under control, but we all have it. Some handle it better than others, and I’m not one of them. Every facet of my life needs a reboot, but who has time for any of it? I’m too busy trying to plow through yet another day.

The comedy shows this weekend at Zanies were pure fun, as was The Mothership Connection radio show on WLIP last night. We had a fun vibe the whole night, but I came close to nodding off behind the wheel on my way home because I’m just way too tired. There’s too much to do.

I haven’t even filed my taxes for the last couple of years, and I got a letter from the IRS asking where my returns were. The receipts are on a table in another ugly pile, and if they want to come and look at them I’ll gladly let them have at it. I’m not hiding anything, I’m just way too busy to get them done. None of this is an excuse, but it definitely is a reason. I just can’t stay caught up.

It’s not like I’m lazy. I’m always working on something, and have made more progress during the last year or so on a lot of things than I ever have. Since I’ve been out of the hospital from my diabetes diagnosis and surgery, I’ve put a lot of effort into my health. I’ve made solid progress.

So why am I so far behind on everything? I wish I knew. There are no time outs to regroup like there are in sports. If there were, now would be the perfect point to take one. I could use a couple of weeks to just rest up and relax without having stress about any of this, but that’s not realistic.

I have to work even harder if I’m ever going to get out of this hole, and if I do I know it’s only temporary because in too short of a time I’ll be right back in it again. I know I’m by far not alone in this position, but it sure seems like it as I look around at my life and see all those giant piles.

Money would sure be a nice addition to the mix right now. It wouldn’t necessarily solve all of my problems, but it would let me buy time to look for real solutions. Filing my taxes is going to happen sooner than later, but that’s going to cost me money I don’t have. It’s all about the cash.

Trying to earn a living is a big part of the reason I’ve got so much going on in the first place. If I had a more stable income I wouldn’t have to go on the road this week to earn money to pay the bills that are piling up around me and taking me out of my rhythm. I could use a windfall. Soon.

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