Calendar Gall


Tuesday May 1st, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   If I hadn’t personally witnessed my own life and all of the bizarre twists that have happened for as long as they’ve been happening, I’d find it extremely difficult to believe. If anybody anywhere has more stories of odd luck than me, I’d like to meet that person. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t.

My most recent tale of freakish woe is a typical textbook example of what has become par for an absolutely hellish course. In an effort to get more organized, I recently made up three separate packages that included samples of everything I have to offer comedy wise from CDs to my brand new DVD to masters for my comedy class lesson plans and paperwork handouts for the students.

I’ve managed to accumulate three brief cases over the years for whatever reason and I thought since they were all just sitting there unused it would be a smart idea to load each of them up with samples of everything I’ve got to offer and have them ready in case I might need to sell myself.

I probably should have had at least one of those years ago, but of course I never did. I’ve done it exactly like most other comedians I know who just half ass everything when it comes down to anything on the business side of comedy. We just don’t make it a priority, and that’s not smart.

Would having three different briefcases make me three times smarter? No, but since I had them sitting around, why not have two spares in case something happened to the first one? It wouldn’t cost me a dime, and I know how my luck has gone in the past. Backing things up is a good idea.

Last week I had a meeting with a radio station sales rep in Madison, WI. I was proud of myself when I was able to whip out my trusty briefcase and have everything I needed right at my greasy little finger tips from business cards to pens to CDs and DVDs. The person I met with even made fun of how organized I was for a comedian, and it felt great. I thought I had finally figured it out.

The one thing I didn’t have three copies of was my booking calendar. I intended to do that, but I hadn’t been able to get to it just yet. The booking calendar is all important to a comedian’s life, as that’s where it all happens. If I don’t know where to be and when to be there, how can I work?

Plus, I hand wrote copies of all my phone contacts on it. When I lost my phone a while back, it was a nightmare not having that list. I told myself it would never happen again, so I took the time to hand write them on my calendar so I’d have them. Eventually I intended to put them into some kind of order and type them out and have a hard copy. Eventually. Unfortunately, it wasn’t now.

Somewhere between Madison and now, the briefcase vanished. I looked high and low for it but it’s GONE. It didn’t occur to me until today when I was looking for my calendar, and I recalled I put it in the briefcase before I drove to Madison. Then I began to panic when I couldn’t locate it.

The only thing I can think of is that I put gas in my car in Madison, and walked into the station to use the bathroom for a couple of minutes. I had the case in my back seat, and there were a few other people gassing up also. I didn’t lock my car, and it might have disappeared then. That’s all I can think of, and it infuriates me that I didn’t have a backup for that calendar. I am SO screwed.

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