Accepting The Challenge


Tuesday April 3rd, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I’m starting to get myself back in a positive groove, and that’s exactly what I need to do. There is actually something quite appealing and exciting about being on the brink of extinction, having to claw my way back from the jaws of death. Something about it really lights a fire inside of me.

What kind of self absorbed egotistical maniac ENJOYS being in a precarious situation and has to fight tooth and nail to get out of it? I don’t know, but I do kind of get off on it. The only games of free cell on a computer or crossword puzzles that hold my interest at all are the very hardest of the hard – the real nut busters. There’s something about figuring those out that thrill my innards.

There’s a fantastic feeling of accomplishment that comes from seeing the progress of being not able to figure something out at all to looking back and charting how it was completed. I love that feeling, and it never gets old. Maybe subconsciously it’s why I put myself in my current pickle.

That’s a little disturbing if indeed it is the case, and I sure hope that’s not what I did. I mean no harm to anyone, and I feel horrible that I’m in several people’s dog house. Not just because they won’t book me, I just am not looking to clash with anyone even though it happens on occasion.

The majority of answers are in the mirror. I have to honestly determine if I have done every bit of everything I can do to make sure I’m headed where I want to be going, and after doing that for the last few days I have to say no. I feel I can give a much better effort, and that’s my total focus

I got out and took a nice long walk in the gorgeous weather today and blew some cobwebs out of my skull. That felt great, and I also ate a healthy breakfast to go with it. I went to get a haircut before I do a corporate show tomorrow afternoon in Chicago, and just put myself in a good mood all around. I really do love challenges, and I’ve managed to carve out a gigantic one for myself.

I refuse to be bitter or angry or anything other than determined to find a way to showcase all of my talent and abilities to the most amount of people possible. Yes, I did burn a few bridges up to now and that will make it more difficult. Wait a minute, they’re nuked. This will be a nut buster.

The good news is, nobody is expecting me to accomplish much of anything except me. I know I can pull a lot more out of myself than I am, and it’s totally up to me to do exactly that. The few who think I’m a weenie are far outnumbered by those who think I’m a great guy, and they are far outnumbered by those who never even heard of me. So the main mission is to get the word out.

I recorded three more episodes of The Unshow podcast this morning with Jeff Schneider, and it felt great to knock those out so easily. He gets them ready and uploads them to the website we’re on, and that works out splendidly. We’re building our audience daily at http://www.PKNRadio.com.

I wanted a challenge, I got it. Now I plan to enjoy it as I conquer it, along with the help of some good friends who are in my corner. I want this diary to be a blue print or others of how someone can use ingenuity and hard work to overcome obstacles that seem insurmountable. Here we go.

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