Berwyn Backlash


Saturday March 31st, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I’m still more than a tad disturbed by last night’s little incident in Berwyn. I could have gotten myself very easily arrested, injured or even killed. That Croatian ape was boozed up and fired up and had he reached the stage it could have gotten a lot uglier than it already did. And for what?

It was my fault for even agreeing to do a show there. People are getting stupider in general, but Berwyn, IL has always been a regional office. It’s a blue collar town full of toothless mooks who wouldn’t know quality entertainment if it sat on their face and wiggled. What was I expecting?

This all runs a lot deeper than one night in front of a couple of morons. The idiot who thought he was a comedian who arranged the show was exactly what’s wrong with comedy. He thinks in his mind he’s really going to be a big star, and won’t have to work hard or pay dues to get there.

He didn’t like it that I tossed him a face full of reality, and in fact  was ready to throw down at the end of the night. He shoved me against the wall and wanted to fight, which is the last thing I wanted since it was his home town and he knew everyone in the room. He had a few barley pops in him and wasn’t very big, so I probably could have dropped him with one punch. Maybe two.

But again, why? What would that have proved? I’d have probably had to spend the night in the Berwyn clink, or even worse a hospital when either those three bouncers or the Croatian pounded a tune on my coconut. This is not where I want to be or what I want to be doing with my life now or ever. If ever there was a single motivating event that made me want to get on track, this was it.

The $64,000,000 golden question is – on track to what? Or where? What exactly is it that I want or think I want to do, have or be in life? I know with absolute certainty that I positively do NOT want to be dodging haymaker punches in Berwyn, IL after shows I don’t get paid for. That’s out.

But what’s in? Comedy and radio are what I know how to do, but I’m not opposed to trying an entirely different direction if I thought it would improve my quality of life. I do find it important to help people whenever I can, so maybe some kind of counseling position would fit my needs.

I’d be very willing and open to work with anyone from prisoners to kids to seniors or anybody else who could use my services. Pitching in to help make the world a better place appeals to me a whole lot more than driving hundreds of miles to attempt to make tens of drunken idiots laugh.

Then again, there are examples of times when I’ve done radio during the day and had a red hot comedy show at night and went to bed with a total buzz. That’s what I enjoy, and that’s what my perfect life would be. I’d be able to entertain intelligent fans who know who I am before I get on stage, but also have a fulfilled life off of it with a loving family and friends to share in all the fun.

I’d love to be the King of Uranus and crank out funny videos regularly that get millions of hits and sell enough products to keep me living a decent lifestyle without having to drive across three time zones to make $100. Last night cured me of that for good. I’m going to make some changes.

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