Four Scumbag Maggots


Wednesday March 21st, 2012 – Kenosha, WI

    Some days I just can’t seem to figure out why things happen the way they do, and today is one of those days. I’m feeling very down today, but it’s not all about me. Yes, I have a few annoying problems right now that aren’t pleasant to deal with, but who doesn’t? Those aren’t unsolvable.

What I’m upset about are situations beyond my control, and that’s a major downer. They seem so unfair, and I’m powerless to do anything about them. It’s extremely frustrating, and especially so because they involve people who in my opinion totally don’t deserve it. But I’m not the judge.

Gary Pansch called me today and wanted to take me out for a belated birthday lunch. I’ve been friends with Gary for probably twenty years, give or take a couple. If there’s a more peaceful and laid back person anywhere in America, I’ve never crossed paths. Gary is as mellow as they get.

He’s a very funny comedian, but he never chose to pursue it full time because he doesn’t enjoy all the insanity that goes with the business part of it. He sees how crazy it all is, and doesn’t want to lose his identity as a person. He performs when he wants, and lives a peaceful life on his own.

Last night, he was out walking his dog around sundown. It’s a stray he found and adopted, and treats it like a son. The dog’s name is Charlie, and he’s had some health issues lately which have been of great concern to Gary. I see how much he cares for Charlie, and it proves how kind he is.

Gary and Charlie were two blocks from the apartment Gary has lived in for twenty years, when four lowlife punks came out of nowhere and started beating Gary up for no particular reason. He said they didn’t say a single word or even take his wallet; they just started viciously beating him.

It took FOUR scumbag maggots to beat up Gary Pansch? Gary wears glasses and is about 5’7”. He might weigh 150 pounds on a good day, before a haircut and after a big meal. Beating on him would be like kicking Woody Allen’s ass. No offense to Gary or Woody, but this infuriates me.

Gary had a fat lip and a black eye as he told me the story, and said as it was happening the only thing he could think about was protecting Charlie. He said he knew it was a bad situation when a few drops of his blood spattered on Charlie’s face, but he never raised his voice as he told of it.

I have to admit, this would have sent me right over the edge. I was furious just hearing about it, but it didn’t seem to anger Gary at all. He told the details matter of factly, and said he didn’t even call the police because it took him by such surprise he wouldn’t be able to identify those who did it in a lineup. He said they left just as fast as they came, and he sat there soaked in his own blood.

What the hell is wrong with this planet? Is anything or anyone sane or fair? I can think of more than a few complete jackass types that could absolutely use an ass whipping session exactly like this, but not Gary Pansch. He’s never hurt anyone, and I doubt if he’s even killed many spiders.

I thought I had made significant progress in my life when it comes to dealing with anger issues, but hearing of this shows me I still have a long way to go. Gary was barely upset, but I was ready to take a golf club to the left ears of four teenage hot shots who think they’re budding gangsters.

This really bothers me, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. I’m sure the punks will strike again, and it’s SO wrong. Sometimes there’s just nothing funny to say about anything.

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