Digging Deeper Into Uranus


Wednesday January 25th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

I’m battening down the hatches, as I can tell this is going to be a hell of a year. I feel the rumblings in the distance getting closer, and at some point the deluge will begin. It has to. I’ve been putting too much out there for too long without some positives bouncing back.

I’ve paid enough dues for about six lifetimes, and now it’s time for payback. I haven’t a clue as to what it will all entail, but I know it’s on the way. I just do. I feel it. I don’t know how I know, but I do. There are going to be events in 2012 I’ve never experienced before, but in a good way. I am working day and night to make sure I’m prepared to soak it all in.

Between bookers calling, classes pending, my one man show ’Schlitz Happened’ about growing up in Milwaukee, The Mothership Connection paranormal radio show on WLIP in Kenosha, WI and trying to stay in contact with friends, I’ve got more than I can handle.

That doesn’t include ‘side projects’ like producing the DVD for James Wesley Jackson or booking a ’Pirates Of Comedy’ tour with Don Reese, Dwight York and Dan Still. It’s a chore just to list all this stuff much less keep track of it, but every bit of it is worthwhile.

And then there’s The King of Uranus. That’s the monster that’s been rumbling loudest, and I feel myself being drawn to it. It’s the culmination of everything I’ve admired in life and a mix of a lot of things from pro wrestler to charismatic evangelist to George Clinton and Sun Ra’s outer space alter egos to science fiction to just plain funny. It’s a total kick.

I think it’s more than that though. My friend Max Bumgardner called tonight out of the blue to say he was thinking about me and had the urge to call so he did. Max is one of the few people I consider a true kindred spirit, and totally gets where I am coming from. He’s always understood the ‘dented can’ concept, and is a big fan of The King of Uranus idea.

Max has very solid natural business instincts, which I admit I do not. I’m a creative type and that’s how it has always been. I’m at the mercy of the bean counters, and that’s a fact I’m not thrilled about. Max gets where I’m coming from, and called at the perfect time.

He encouraged me to get out there and DO this gimmick, and told me to only say aloud positive affirmations that I want to come true. Max is a big time student of self help like I am, and he’s right. The Law Of Attraction really does work, and I needed to re-hear that.

This whole thing is more than a gimmick. It’s the childhood I never got to have, and the way to reach more people than I ever would as a regular old run of the mill white standup comic. I’ve tried that for decades, and it hasn’t come close to working how I’d planned.

This idea goes way deeper than that. It opens me up to a whole new level of community service and bringing laughter and healing to people who really need it. I picture this to be a whole lot deeper than putting on a goofy costume and walking into places to watch how people react. That’s part of it, and its very funny, but the roots of it all are very spiritual.

Max is one of the few people who gets all this, and his call served as a lightning rod for getting me to put into words exactly what I intend to accomplish by doing this. At first the idea was just to make money, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s much deeper now.

I want to touch people’s lives and souls, not just their wallets. I want to help the hurting heal, and there are far more dented cans out there than I ever imagined. I’ve had my share of horrific breaks in life, but there are countless stories much worse than mine. They need to laugh, and they need someone who can relate to their pain to deliver it. And that’s me.

There are countless nameless and faceless standup comedians out there, but there’s only ONE King of Uranus. I’ve finally come up with something that sets me apart from all the rest – even though I’ve been ‘out there’ my whole life. This is the vehicle I have lacked.

I’m going to breathe life into this character in the next little while, but it’s been brewing since childhood. Gramps would LOVE this, and I’m not only doing it in his honor, but for the others in my family who died without ever doing anything worthwhile – like my uncle. He left this planet a lonely unfulfilled bitter horse’s ass. He missed the reason for living.

It’s all about giving and sharing and showing sincere acts of kindness. He motivated me whether he knew it or not, and ending up like him or my father scares me beyond words. I want to be known for my service to humanity, and this is going to be the way I achieve it.

If a regular old comedian came to a hospital or an orphanage or an old folks home, they may or may not be remembered five minutes after they left. I know I feel that way far too often after shows. People may laugh and have a good time, but I’m forgotten in minutes.

Who could forget The King of Uranus showing up in full costume with flames and farts and smoke and gimmicks and whatever else I can throw in? Word will get out, and it will spread like wildfire. I know human nature and entertainment enough to know I’ll get a lot of mileage out of minimal effort. Just showing up in the goofy costume will get attention.

Now it’s a matter of coming up with the back story of why I’m dressed like that and the battle plan of how to get it known to as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time. It WILL get seen, and it already has shown potential for lightning fast recognition.

When it does, I want to have my priorities straight. Yes, I’m looking to get rich. I’m not denying that for a second. Money is a part of life, and it’s important. But what’s far more important is touching those who are hurting. I want to take this to places where comedy is needed most but not usually seen – like prisons or hospices. I want to make a difference.

I know it all sounds corny and sappy, but I‘m not kidding. With all the insane horror of dysfunction going on in my life from such an early age, this is finally my chance to be the kid I never got to be then. I had to grow up too fast, and missed out on much of the dumb fun kids are supposed to have. Well, this is it – and a way to reach out to others who have similar scars. Like a Patch Adams, Peace Pilgrim or Mother Theresa, this is my mission.

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