Motivated By Morons

Monday January 2nd, 2012 – Chicago, IL

I thought I was already motivated to make something good out of my life despite where I came from, but this whole mess with my uncle has really driven it home. NOTHING but kindness and giving is important in this life, and that’s what I’m going to spend the rest of my days doing to the best of my ability. All that matters is making other’s lives happier.

Part of that does involve making myself happy though. If I’m a miserable sap hating my life, that’s probably what I’ll pass along to everyone else. My father did. So did my uncle. Now they’re dead, and went kicking and screaming to their graves. Nobody misses them.

I don’t think anyone is going to miss me either, but I don’t intend to go to my grave like either of them did, or even my grandfather who I loved and admired. He had a struggle at the end of his life, and it wasn’t pleasant at the end for him either. Cancer is an especially slow and painful way to go out, and he suffered with it for years just like my uncle did.

Gramps tried valiantly at the end of his life to chase a few of his show business dreams, but by then he was beaten down by life and being eaten alive with his cancer and couldn’t go all in like I did. He was distracted by his illness, and I don’t blame him for that. He did what he could with whatever resources he had left, but died an unfulfilled person anyway.

He was neither happy nor content at the end of his life, and I still remember having that final visit at his bedside in the hospice the day before he died. He was pretty disappointed with his lack of doing what he wanted in his prime years, yet he made me promise I’d get a civil service job so I’d have ‘stability’. I lived up to that promise, but only for one day.

I quit that job and never looked back. I’ve had more than my share of lumps and bumps and made a mountain of mistakes, but looking back I made the right decision. I wouldn’t have been happy working a day job, and I followed my inner voice and chased my dream.

Now it looks like I’ve got a decent chance at actually catching it – or at least part of it. If I stay the course and fine tune my path and methods, this is going to be my best year ever. I don’t know how I know that, but I totally do. Last year had challenges, but it wasn’t bad. It was a transition in many ways, and I feel like a whole new person. My payoff is near.

I hosted the Rising Star Showcase at Zanies in Chicago tonight, and have never been so grateful to be on a comedy stage in my life. My father and uncle may have had a dream or two, but neither of them ever had the guts to chase it – at least for very long. They gave up and with that went any chance of satisfaction or fulfillment. I refuse to live a life like that.

I’m going to take my swings, and see what happens. Who knows, I might hit something. I’m already ahead of everyone in my immediate family, simply because I have not let my past take me out of the race. Now it’s time to get past the past and get into what life is all about – and that’s giving and sharing and loving and everything Dr. Phil tells his viewers to do every day. Whether he means it or not, I absolutely do. I’m extra motivated now.


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