How Now Braun Cow?


Saturday December 10th, 2011 – Fox Lake, IL

Ryan Braun is screwed. He could rescue kittens from a burning building or donate most of his multi-gajillion dollar paycheck to charity, but from this day forward he will forever have to live down the fact that he has tested positive for the infamous ‘banned substance’.

That said substance could be anything from heroin to Flubber and anything in between, but what it is doesn’t matter. He got caught, and the damage is done. It’s bad for him yes, but even worse for the Milwaukee Brewers – not to mention the credibility of baseball.

He was the golden child. He and Prince Fielder were the two young bucks of the game, and the team chose him to reward with the long term big money contract. Fielder will get the mother lode of booty to match his own mother load of booty, but not in Milwaukee.

The Brewers had to choose one of the two, and Braun was the one. He was the man and then some. He’s got a restaurant in town and has it going on with the ladies I’m sure. The team is the talk of the town, and he’s the reigning N.L. MVP. All of that is tainted now.

I’m sorry to see this happen. Milwaukee is my home town, and when I travel around it’s been nice to have people say “Hey, how ‘bout those Brewers?” in recent years. For far too long they were such an invisible non factor, nobody even cared they were in the league.

I think it was good for the game to have a small market team rise up and have a nice run for a few years, but now it appears to be over in a day. So long playoffs, hello pissed off. I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am. It looks like there will be no joy in Miller Park for 2012, and maybe longer. Nobody has ever skated in this situation without a suspension.

And a whopper of a suspension it is. Fifty games is what the verdict will most likely be. That’s bad for business, both at home and on the road. Fans want to see stars, especially if they’re shelling out good money for tickets. I know I do. This is a no win deal for anyone.

The initial reports are that he’s denying he ever knowingly took anything illegal, but it’s too late for that now. The toothpaste is out of the tube. Accusation is just as bad as actual guilt, so he can cry a river of crocodile tears and it won’t do any good. Too little, too late.
I’m sure he’ll fight it tooth and nail, but no matter what happens this will leave a big scar.

I don’t know Ryan Braun, but from all I’ve seen I like him. He’s a hell of a player, even if he is on the juice. Barry Bonds was a hell of a player too, a certain Hall of Famer. Then, he decided to turn himself into a synthetic version of King Kong and he’s tainted as well. I hope it was worth it. The only way he’ll get to see the Hall of Fame now is with a ticket.

I’m getting more jaded about everything as I get older, and sports is not the sacred altar it was to me as a kid. That’s because I realize people who play them are just that – people. There’s some kind of dent in everyone’s can, and this is to be expected. I’m disappointed as a fan and a Milwaukeean, but too bad for baseball. The Green Bay Packers are 13-0!

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