Kissing Astrology


Tuesday December 6th, 2011 – Fox Lake, IL

I can’t help wondering exactly how much significance there is, if any, in astrology. Is it all a load of cosmic crap or is there something to it? It’s been around for thousands if not tens of thousands of years, and it pre dates most religions. There has to be a reason for it.

I’m not saying I believe every place mat I get at a Chinese restaurant, and I rarely if ever read the daily horoscope in a newspaper, but the whole idea of how date and time of one’s birth has meaning does intrigue me to the point I want to get more information about it.

Growing up, I was forced to go to a holy rollers church and they poo-pooed astrology as being ‘of the devil’ and ‘evil’ and told us not to go near it or our hair might start on fire or something. I guess they had their own scam going, and were squelching the competition.

As I get older, I’m having a hard time believing in most things unseen from the God the church told us about to Jesus to heaven and hell to anything else. The stars I can see every night with my own eyes. God, I can’t. I’m not saying there’s not a higher power, but I am saying I never saw or heard Him speak to me, and I don’t think Pat Robertson did either.

Or Benny Hinn. Or Jimmy Swaggart. Or Oral Roberts. Or The Pope. Or Martin Luther. Or Martin Luther King. Or Joseph Smith. Or Jim Jones. Or David Koresh. Or The Dalai Lama. Or Louis Farrakhan. Or Chaka Khan. Or anyone else who is of human persuasion.

There, did I piss everyone off? Good. I’m just looking for the truth. Who or what made this beautiful planet, and then filled it with so many halfwits who treat it like a rental car? Everyone seems to think they have the definitive answer, and I don’t believe any of them.

Maybe we can’t handle the truth. Maybe it’s all random and we’re here as long as we’re here, and then it’s all over. That’s not a popular answer, but it’s a possibility. WE DON’T KNOW, and I for one am not too proud to admit it. I wonder all the time, but I can’t say.

The reason I’m wondering about astrology today is it happens to be the birthday of two of my favorite people – Max Bumgardner and John O’Brien. Max was my radio partner at ‘The Loop’ in Chicago, and is a fellow dented can. He’s had a childhood of hell to endure and still struggles to deal with it much like I do. Still, he presses on and gives life his best.

I have more respect for Max than 99.999% of anyone I’ve ever met. He’s brilliant on all kinds of subjects, and his flair for business and being an entrepreneur is way past where it is in my head. Max is a great friend, and one of the few people on this planet I really trust.

John O’Brien is great in his own way. He’s a former comedy student who has supported me for many years. I couldn’t appreciate it more. He’ll show up at my show unannounced and often brings his wife Gail as well. He’s given me cash when I’ve needed it most, and made it a point to come see me in the hospital earlier this year. Two finer people there are not, and both were born on the same day – today. Is it a coincidence? I just don’t think so.

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