Silva Dollars

Monday March 28th, 2011 – Fox Lake, IL

What’s 31 years old, doesn’t have gainful employment and as of today is $11.5 million richer? Answer: Carlos Silva, former pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. The Cubs decided it’s a better option for them to pay him to not be around than put up with his malcontent vibe.

How big of a wanker did the guy have to be? For $11.5 million, I’d be willing to put up with a lot of guff from my boss. Hell, the whole joint could piss on my lunch box and I’d have a hard time finding something to be upset about. That’s a big time financial cushion.

I know there’s going to be a major chunk of taxes taken out and probably agent fees too, but that’s still a lot of cabbage left over for someone who seems like a classless lout to get to spend on Hershey bars and Archie comics for the rest of his born days. HE’S the actual real life Mr. Lucky, and I bet he doesn’t even know it. He’s probably pissed off right now.

This is a perfect example of how there absolutely can be too much of a good thing, and that money does not guarantee happiness. That ungrateful bastard broke the odds to make it all the way to the major leagues from Venezuela no less, not an easy task in the least.

I dedicated countless hours of my own childhood throwing baseballs against a real live brick out house in Milwaukee trying to live my dream of playing in the big leagues, and it never did come to be. I never even made it to the low minors. I had a one day tryout with the Kansas City Royals, and that was it. Am I jealous of a Carlos Silva? Damn right, I am.

Had I gotten signed, it would’ve been a long shot to make the big leagues after that. It’s an honor and a privilege and only a super elite special few ever get to experience a single game in the top level of any professional sport, yet here’s a whiny little weenie who still doesn’t get it at 31. He was a pain in the ass in Seattle, and they traded him to the Cubs.

The Cubs were delighted to get him at first, because they traded an even bigger pain in an even bigger body part named Milton Bradley away in return. He was a real malcontent that made Carlos Silva look like an exchange student from Mayberry. That guy had even more disdain for his lot in life, and playing baseball for a living just wasn’t good enough.

I don’t get the thinking of any of these pampered little divas and it’s turning me way off to even watch games anymore. Families are struggling here in America, not to mention an even bigger crisis in Japan. I wonder if their ball players behave like a Silva or a Bradley?

And to top it off, the guy gets his contract paid off IN FULL. Who negotiated that deal? Now THERE’S a union. I think the teachers in Wisconsin should pay attention to this so they know how to negotiate next time. This goof gets sent home but gets paid millions.

Say he gets to keep at least half that $11.5 million. That’s $5,750,000. At age 31, he’ll be able to spend $143,750 a year for 40 straight years. That’s $393.83 a day for doing the grand total of… NOTHING. Shut your yap, Carlos Silva. You’re the king of the world.


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