Low On Gas


Tuesday February 22nd, 2011 – Somewhere At Sea

I am totally running out of gas with the whole ship thing and the road in general. This is the last night of this part of the run and I couldn’t be any more delighted. I had two shows tonight on the Carnival Conquest, then I’ll fly to Houston by way of Atlanta tomorrow for a short night in a hotel before getting on a 7am shuttle to Galveston to board the Ecstasy.

Then I’ll have a four day run on the Ecstasy, performing a total of five shows on two of those days yet to be determined. It could be the first two days I get there, then I’ll be stuck with two more sea days with no ports to explore. I just got through doing two consecutive sea days on the Conquest, and I’ve had just about all the time alone in a cabin I can stand.

This is really an endurance contest, and I’m just tired right now. The people at Carnival have been extremely friendly to work with, and I have no complaints there at all. I have a very high opinion of the cruise director on the Conquest. His name is Chris Jefferson and he’s not only an outstanding people person, he’s also a dynamic host and great performer.

He was low pressure all week and very friendly, as was Sammy the host of the comedy club. He’s from Trinidad/Barbados and has one of the most unique accents ever. We had fun with it, and the audiences seemed to like all the shows. On paper, it was a great week.

Unfortunately, life isn’t lived on paper. It boils down to timing. Had I been able to have a solid week like this when I started just a few months ago, I would have been overjoyed. Now, it’s a matter of being able to hang in there for the long haul. I’ll admit, I’m pooped.

All the ships start to look the same, and it just isn’t fun after a while. I’m not one to get in trouble, so that’s a major plus. If I were, I probably would have gone on a spree by now and gotten myself fired. So far, so good. I’ve been able to keep my job for the time being.

Working with Mark Hawkins has been a huge perk too, even though he’s put my whole act through the meat grinder so many times I can now drink it out of a juice glass. It’s not pleasant to get cut up like that, but it will make me a better comedian in the long run, and that’s all that matters. This life is not for the weak on many levels, and it takes a big toll.

I wish I were flying back to Chicago tomorrow, even if there is a fresh blasting of snow to plow through. I can handle that. I just want to be home and get to work on all those fun projects I’ve been neglecting while I’ve been out here at sea earning a buck to survive.

It’s all a game, and money is a big part of it. The ships have been great for that, and I’m totally grateful for the opportunity. I’ve also become a significantly better performer from working on the ships and I can’t forget that and don’t. It has not been without its benefits.

I’m just worn out right now. These next few days will be a big test, and I don’t intend to make any waves. I just want to do quality shows, not bother anyone and fly home in peace to quietly pick up where I left off. I guess money doesn’t guarantee happiness after all.

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