Catching A 22


Friday October 22nd, 2010 – Lake Villa, IL

One more day of freedom before heading back to the high seas. I’m trying to get myself into the mental groove of all that goes with it, but I’m still not there yet. If they called and told me I’d been bumped forever it wouldn’t break my heart in the least, just my wallet.

That’s exactly why I need to keep doing it. It doesn’t hurt to stockpile some cash for the immediate and distant futures, but the real reason is it will make me mentally tougher at a time when I can really use it. Mental toughness to me is thinking clearly in tight situations and reacting correctly. I’ve had to do that quite a bit so far, and I’m sure it will continue.

The whole lifestyle of the ships is quite different than what I’m used to, and nobody can pick everything up in a new situation in the first few times. It takes conditioning, and that takes time. I’m taking a few shots now, and paying my dues just like I had to do when my club life was getting going. That lifestyle was a lot different than what I was used to then.

There are a lot of similarities actually. The money from the clubs was better than what I was making working dead end sales clerk jobs, but I was gone all the time and had to get used to life away from Milwaukee. Ten hour car rides and cheap motels became part of a whole new lifestyle that was quite overwhelming at the time, much like ship life is now.

I eventually learned to master the road life and at times even come to really enjoy it. At the very least I learned to tolerate it enough to keep doing it for years, and it was valuable to have to fall back on when my various radio excursions turned to manure. The comedy life turned out to be ‘stable’, at least for me. That shows you where my life is – shaky.

That’s why it’s so important to stay out there and rake in come decent money. I’ve been one to always do things that are fun, and in many ways I don’t regret that at all, but this is not one of those times. Fudge and ice cream taste great, but sometimes we need medicine.

Having a wad of cash to fall back on will change my whole life for the better. I had a bit of a taste of it when I was at the Loop, and it was wonderful. I wasn’t a miser, and shared a lot of it whenever I could. Still, I had a nice little nest egg socked away and that made a huge difference knowing if I got fired I’d be set for a while. When it happened, I was ok.

There’s always a chance I could be fired from the ships too, but in the very near future it won’t matter in the least. I’ll have had a chance to not only sock a significant wad of cash away, I’ll have used my down time on the ships wisely and have all kinds of other things I can work on marketing. I can write movie scripts, books, jokes or anything else I want.

I need to do exactly that, and I have been. Last week was pretty good in that department. I spent some time organizing and going over next year’s projects and didn’t just waste my time farting around doing nothing as is so easy to do. I took some time each day to read a little, write a little, plan a little and explore a little, which also was good exercise. I didn’t eat like a pig and tried to do it all in moderation. It was fine for a week. Now it’s another.

Besides needing more mental toughness, I also need to conquer my trust issues. I have a very difficult time trusting anyone, and even though there are many examples to back me up of why I shouldn’t, it’s also the exact reason why I need to. It’s the only way to win on a large scale. One man bands don’t make the big time. Even Elvis had Colonel Parker.

Unfortunately, by most accounts Colonel Parker screwed Elvis in many ways. He could have been huge in Europe but apparently the Colonel was an illegal immigrant and didn’t want it to be an issue so he never had Elvis tour over there. Plus, he probably took a much higher commission than what was justified, but Elvis trusted him and they stayed a team.

My own trust issues are a lot deeper than that. If my own mother would abandon me as a five month old baby, how can I trust some Hollywood huckster type to take care of me in my career? I can’t, and I don’t. The few times I have opened up I’ve been torched like a moth in a bug zapper, and it still hurts. Again, that’s exactly why I need to do it correctly.

I know everyone out there is not trying to screw me over. There are partnerships that are very successful, and in a perfect world I’d love to be in several actually. I’ll need several, as I’m interested in different things and no one person can help me in all. I need a team.

One thing I really need is organization and personal management. That’s why I went up to Milwaukee today to meet with Donna Gurda. Donna handled the business affairs of my other friend Tom Green, who was also another Pisces and needed help in the areas I do.

Tom was a fantastic entertainer, but like many he wasn’t interested in the business part as much as he could have been. I’m totally like that, but Donna is absolutely outstanding when it comes to organization and keeping a cool business head. She and Tom were very good as a team, and then Tom unfortunately became ill and passed away. What a shame.

Donna enjoys the business part and we’ve always had a professional relationship so we discussed what we could do as a team to try things out a little. If there’s one person I have as much faith as I can in it’s her. She never ripped Tom off and I know she wouldn’t do it to me either. She’s credible and organized, and neither one of us need this for our living.

This is the correct way to build trust, much like building a credit rating. My own credit is beyond a nightmare, but that’s another story. If I earn enough money, I’ll be able to get that back to a working level too. It all boils down to money, and I need a team go get it.

Donna would be great to work with. I’m already working with Richard Halasz, another comedian who’s promoting some shows. He’s proven himself honest to a fault, and he’s also a hard worker. My friend Shelley has been wonderful with helping with my website. She’s another who’s been in my corner, and there are others I‘m looking at. It’s growing.

Today is October 22nd, and according to numerology principles, it’s a ‘master number’ day. ‘11’ and ‘22’ are master numbers, and whether or not it’s totally true it can’t hurt to be putting all these plans together on a master number day. Now it’s back out to the sea.

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