Does Anything Have Meaning?


Sunday August 29th, 2010 – Tampa, FL/Kenosha, WI

Another long travel day. First it was up at 7am to sit in a room with dozens of others to wait for my Immigration papers to get stamped by the U.S. Customs agent. I don’t know why I need to be a part of that, but those are the rules. It’s not my ship so I have to obey.

Some of the people were getting off the ship, others were renewing their paperwork for another tour of duty. There are all kinds of rules aboard ship I don’t understand, and in all honesty couldn’t care less about. I will do what they tell me to, and so far that’s worked.

The detail that was a tad inconvenient is that I had to wait until 10am before they let me get off the ship. I have no idea why I couldn’t just pick up my passport and leave, but that isn’t how it works. I had to go back to my cabin for a couple of hours and hope I didn’t go back to sleep and end up back at sea again. I did nod out for a bit, but didn’t oversleep.

I was let off the ship at 10am on the button with probably 50 others and took a shuttle to the airport, where I had three hours to kill until my plane left. Jim McHugh picked me up at O’Hare and I had to rush up to Kenosha to host the Mothership Connection radio show.

I don’t hate the cruise ships, but it is a lot of effort and time away from the other things that I do love. I’ll have to work it out and see how I can get the best of all worlds, if that’s possible. If nothing else, at least I’m growing. There’s always something new going on.

The radio show was a lot of fun tonight. Some weeks are better than others, and this one made it worth the long day of travel to get there. We landed at 5:30 and by the time I took Jim McHugh back to his house I had all I could handle to make it to the station by 8:00.

Then, four hours on the air is not an easy assignment either. I am in charge, so I have to make sure the show flows and keep things moving. My head has to be in it, but after a big day of travel it can be difficult to stay focused and not think about sleep. It takes an effort.

Where all of this is leading, I really don’t know. That’s what scares me. Am I training to do something great, or am I piecing together random projects that come along, hoping it’ll lead to something eventually. If that’s the case, I think I’m going to be very disappointed.

I don’t think anything ‘just happens’. There has to be a plan there from the start, at least for the big stuff. I’m still tweaking the concept of that whole Law of Attraction thing, but I do believe it works. I put the idea in my head I needed to earn more money, and I am.

The ship gigs came out of the blue shortly after that, or did they? How much of that was me and how much was random coincidence? It might not be exactly what I want, but it is what I was looking for results wise. I’ll keep experimenting and see how far I can take it.

Everyone wants to believe there’s a giant master plan for the universe, and they’re in it. I’m not so sure. What if it’s all just random chance? I feel like such a tiny cosmic speck.

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