Russians And Lutherans

Thursday August 5th, 2010 – Waukegan, IL

I’d like to meet the anal retentive S.O.B. that can keep up with everything that has to be looked after in 21st century life. I have a hard time believing anyone can do it. There’s just too much to do, and too little time to do it. I know I’m having major difficulty, and I only have me to look after. If one little thing goes wrong, it throws everything else off course.

One little thing rarely goes wrong though, it’s a cluster of major things. That really puts everything into a state of total disarray, and trying to manage it is like trying to keep a pit of snakes under control just by talking to them. For some reason, snakes just don’t listen.

I was all over the place today, getting myself ready to head out to sea next week. I broke yet another dental filling so it was back for an unexpected stop at the old Russian shop of dental horrors to get drilled on – again. They really do great work there, but there’s not an ounce of sympathy for pain. They waited in line for toilet paper, I better learn to shut up.

They’re actually very nice people, but I do notice a hardness about them in some ways. I guess I’d have it too if I grew up in Russia, so I don’t complain. My dentist this time was a Lithuanian woman with a great sense of humor. She told me to stop moving my tongue or she’d cut it off. She said she’d already cut off two and a third would win her a jackpot.

That probably doesn’t translate very well, but she delivered it perfectly with her accent and it put me in a good mood because it was unexpected. She showed more humor in five minutes than in all the others I’ve dealt with in probably twenty five visits over the years.

I was surprised my credit card worked, but it did, and now I’m in a financial hole bigger than the one that was in my tooth. I need this money from the ships to bail me out at least a little, and to make it worse I still haven’t filed my income taxes yet. I filed an extension.

My accountant called today and said there’s a problem with the IRS. They said they had not received my return for last year, even though I know I mailed it. I have to see him this coming Monday to straighten it out, and that’s more money I don’t have to pay him to file this year’s return. It just keeps coming and I have no defense. I just have to deal with it.

After the dentist I went to get a haircut, then did my laundry after that. I had a mountain built up and was out of socks and underwear. I also answered a fermenting stack of phone messages along with some emails I’d been needing to get to and all in all it was a tornado.

My friend Karl Newyear invited me for dinner at The Quonset, a great pizza joint in his hometown of Waukegan. We flip flop buying, and it was his turn. Good thing, as I’m all tapped out at the moment. We had a hot waitress that distracted us both, but we liked it.

Karl bills himself as ‘The World’s Funniest Lutheran’ which is a great gimmick. He has a job and just got married, but he’s getting an itch to perform. I get it, but it’s not always an easy sell at home or work. Check out Karl’s site at

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